The return of 90210

Quick facts about the show:

Will there be as many people having as much sex as possible? Yes. I even dare to assume that they will do a parent-student angle at some point as well. You know…for the ratings.

Will there be adults portraying high school kids? You bet your 1990’s ass that there will be!

Origin story? Same shit different city. Switch family moving from Minnesotta to Beverly Hills to family moving from Kansas to Beverly Hills. We have a winner!!! (sarcasm off)

Significant changes: A black guy on the cast. You know there was a time where I wondered why there were no main black cast members in BH90210 or friends. I guess I can rest in peace now…or I can start wondering why there were no main hispanic members in 90210 or friends. Maids dont count as a main cast member.

Anyways, the show is going to be just a new age stupid teen drama with the 90210 label. Nothing really interesting. The only thing of interest is the returning cast.

Kelly Tailer(Jennie Garth) — Still hot. I hope her and Brenda get into the WWE main event cat fight they never did. Just for closure sakes. Ive endured hours of psychiatric help dealing with this one.

Donna Martin(Tori Spelling) — COME THE FUCK ON. Next.

Brenda Walsh(Shannen Doherty) — She will have to explain the plot hole of her leaving from the show without a proper goodbye. Im thinking some of that transformers alternate dimension theory would work, or maybe she got stuck in the phantom zone for a while. I would be content with her explaining why her eyes are so uneven at the least.

Nat Bussichio(Joe E. Tata) — who? HAHAHAHHA….I guess the peach pit is back.

Some uncertains are David Silver(Brian Austin Green) who is more than likely looking for a job since he recently got fired from his job as Megan Fox’s bf for being too old (or, ahem, not being high profile enough).

I hope they can get dylan and brandon to comeback. That way 100% of the show will be playing characters that are no accurate in age whatsoever. yay!!!

Conclusion: They should have let this one alone and adapted the GZA’s Killa Hills 10304 instead. Much more entertaining.